Sunday I had a major scare. I thought I was going to lose my dad less than 3 years after losing my mom.

I was asleep while my dad was at church.  I wake up to people pounding on the front door and my windows. That scared the snot out of me but I figured it was him wanting me to unlock the door because he'd forgotten his keys. I looked out the window but didn't recognize the two cars in the driveway. I normally would cower in my room and not answer the door out of fear but meh, I was willing to risk it. It turned out to be a couple from church. They told me my dad had been taken to the ER. I was so shocked and confused... "What happened?" is all I could manage to ask. They told me he had been sitting up in front of the church and slumped over, then started vomiting on himself. Again, I didn't understand what was going on. I know my dad wouldn't voluntarily go to the ER unless it was life threatening...

I began getting dressed and tried to forced myself to eat something so I didn't wind up passing out. I could barely chew...and I was shaking uncontrollably all the way to the ER.

When I got to the ER, I saw my aunt, uncle, and dad's good friend standing outside his little room. Then I saw my dad was at least conscious, so I was slightly relieved (even though I still didn't understand the slumping over and puking part). He'd been sick for several days thinking it was a sinus infection. I started to wonder if he had a bad reaction to some medicine he'd possibly taken.

My aunt started telling my dad, nurses, and me about the events that had happened. After he had slumped over, he had passed out for about 10 minutes. A lady at church who had been a nurse, among others in our church family, came to his rescue. While waiting for the ambulance, I thought my aunt had said that he stopped breathing for 30-60 seconds. But I learned through people on Facebook that it was his HEART that had actually stopped! The lady had used a defibrillator to get it going again. And I found out the defibrillator is thanks to a late gentleman who made sure our church had one on hand. I feel like becoming a defibrillator activist now.

Even more terrifying, he had contemplated staying home since he wasn't feeling his best. If he had stayed home, had this happened at the house, I would've been asleep and probably not known anything was going on. Even if it had happened at home and I had been aware of it, if his heart stopped, I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it while waiting for an ambulance.

Back to the ER, they ran all kinds of test on him, scans and xrays... Then a doctor came in and told us it was the flu. ...the freakin' flu! However, I think that was the most relieved I've ever been. I could tell my aunt was extremely relieved too. My dad was just dumbfounded. He hasn't had the flu in over 50 years. We've never had any issues with the flu in my family during my lifetime... We would've never guessed the flu could cause those problems. At the time I had been fearing that it could've been a full-on heart attack, stroke, or cancer coming back with a vengeance (like it did with my mom...).

So thankfully they released him to come home shortly after the diagnosis.

Although I'm not sure if I'm coming down with the flu now or if it's just from work. Ever since I've been working, I've had a lot of respiratory problems (and was even bed-ridden for over a week, which luckily coincided with the week that we were off from work due to the weather, so I didn't miss any actual work days). If it's not the flu, I may wind up quitting just for health reasons.

But anywho, I'm soooo grateful for everyone who helped out my dad and came to his rescue, all the prayers, and for the fact that it was just the flu (which yes, isn't something anyone really wants)!

Just another, somewhat brief (oh, I could really go into some major details but won't right now...) update, it turns out the guy who was my boyfriend of nearly 2 years is a complete loser! He faked depression, using it as an excuse to break up with me. He claimed that he didn't wanted to be around anyone, would rather be alone, and didn't want a relationship. When he initially told me this in person, wanting to break up, I wouldn't let it happen. When you truly love someone, you DON'T GIVE UP on them!!!! He deactivated his Facebook (I thought that was wise for a depressed person) but like 2 days later, reactivated it, unfriended me, and then blocked me. I let it go, figured he wanted to keep up the charade to others wanting them to think that he was ok... I didn't give up on him, never wanted to, but I was trying to be respectful and give him the space he needed. Then about a week later after an exchange of texts, he texted me to break up, again, I HATED it but I thought it would be better to give him the space. I did text him a few times to check in and managed to get a response...

Two months later, still worried sick about him, I find out that he's back on Plenty of Fish. He deleted his originally account, blue_eyed_guy_84 after we became official. Oh but now the sleaze-bag has gone with blueeyed_guy84 . (I'm seriously hoping girls on there are looking up the guys before meeting them!)

He was hardcore about being up front and honest with one another. He also was extremely assuring about how he'd never hurt me or break my heart. He had many opportunities and at least 2 months to come clean about WHY (I'm still uncertain as to why, he told me I did nothing wrong, it wasn't my fault, I was the perfect girlfriend...) he no longer wanted to be with me. He convinced me all along that he was so serious about our future together and getting married...

But now he's trying to hook up with random girls. Just... WHAT THE HECK!?!?! 

When your world falls apart, you've got to put it back together. I don't have many left in my support system but I am very grateful for those who care and do their best to help.

Life is a struggle. I doubt it's truly easy for anyone...

But the ones who are strong are the ones who admit they need help. They are the ones who try to better themselves. The weak ones are the ones who wither away because they think they are above seeking help.